General Thoughts

so i'm letting confidence run my life instead of fear.

last night i got a little distracted. i still go the homework done, but i really should be more on top of things. i know i'm going to work hard

three classes today. All i have left is French Revolution...which is interesting to say the least. The Prof. is a real history freak.

gas prices are going down but still suck...
Lyss is going to Arizona...for the Super Bowl.
I'm going to miss the Super Bowl with my family because I'll be working. But hey gotta do what you gotta do.

My favorite color is red and green.

Altogether a normal day. Do I always start my days where i think something extraordinary is going to happen?

Hmm we'll see what God does. I can never predict what he's up too.

Didn't think that I would make it this far in my day. I was so sick this morning. 4 classes down and one to go. My day has gone by so fast. Well it's not over yet.

New job: working at TGIF's! I'm excited to say the least.

I've really been working hard this semester and it's only the first couple weeks. It's good...gotta keep working hard.

I've realized, that as much as I look forward to the future that I'm right where i'm supposed to be. Getting college done, working hard to make some money, paying off bills, helping the family, being a good friend, being a good boyfriend. Things are looking up.

I am tired though...

FUCK BEING SICK!! FUCK IT!!!

Thinking is a bitch.

I know, I just know.......can I be more vague? I'm so damn vague.

I want to do something great! Then walk off into the sunset.

hello...

Excited

I live a good life. I live an exciting life. I really don't know where to start. I guess I'm writing just to take up space. There is a lot on my mind. Good things.

Things are moving, pieces are falling into place. I'm done worrying about the things I can't control. Responsibility is taking hold. It's all just a jumble in my mind.

Dear Lord,
Take me one step at a time. One day at a time.
Thank you for every gift you give.

One of those moments

It's just one of those moments, where I don't feel like I'm any good at all. Thank God they don't last.

I'm very bored.

No Secrets

I'm like a book. You can open me up and read everything about me. Almost everything.

My feelings can be so contrary to what I know.

I'm a little frustrated. But this is the last time I'll feel like this or bring this up: I'm frustrated because I know that I hurt Lyss deeply. I don't like it. It happened, I grew, it hurt. Maybe I understand just a tiny piece of what she went through. I remember that night or that month thinking of every promise I broke, every single one!!
I just want to be at that place where she knows that I'm not leaving. It's not fair but it's what I brought upon myself.

Dear Lord,
Just help me. Because I still beat myself up for things that are in the past. I know I'm forgiven, I know I'm loved. Help me to forgive myself, help me to love myself. Tell Lyss that I love her. Thanks for sending someone who wants to stand by me in this life. Help me to grow better and stronger. When I can't be strong remind me to lean on you, and the people that you put in my life.

So I know what the truth is: I'm forgiven! I am loved. Period.

ummm ok. It seems like i'm the only guy in my English Lit. class. Am I even in the right class? This is going to be awkward if this isn't the right class. This is going to awkward if it is the right class. lol Hmm a little help here God.
Ok now there are two guys....total. Feeling a little bit better.

Should be an interesting day.

One Day at a Time

Hmm so first day of classes and in my first class and the prof. isn't there. Oh well, I won't lose any sleep about it. Next class is Physical Science. I hope that will be interesting. Regardless I plan on doing well in all my classes. I didn't give my best last semester; this semester will be different.

I might have my old job back. Which in a way is surprising. I'll admit that I've been ashamed of myself for how I handled the situation. Sometimes grace works both ways: it humbles you and it also gives you things that you don't deserve. I am grateful. I will be better. With God's help.

I have been worried about Lyss this week. She's under a lot of stress. I know, I just know that she's going to be alright. It's hard for me though to see her like this. All I want to do is hold her and tell her yeah it sucks, but it's only temporary. "We're gonna make it"

One thing I've noticed is that I've become more positive again. Honestly, though it may be a new development. I can be positive but me, inside my mind, I can be so negative. There is so much to learn, so much time to grow. But I'll try not to let it overwhelm me, and take life one day at a time. Focus on the important things. God, family, loved ones, friends, school, work. Work hard giving 100%. Also allow other people to help me. That other people want to help and I want to help them.

I don't have to know everything, I don't have to be everything. I can be me! The person that God created me to be. Life can be stressful, but when I see all that I have, and all that I will be, it's not bad at all. One day at a time...one day at a time!

This IS AWESOME!!

Unpredictable

Life is wondrous! It's hard to fathom how things can fall together so perfectly when they could easily tumble out of control. I'm short on money but somehow I'm getting through every week with things pulling through. I know it's God. I just know because it's too perfect. Things have been coming together at the perfect timing.
Being back with Lyss has been replenishing. It's something special, something unique. Something I just couldn't walk away from. She amazes me. I've never seen such loyalty in someone. Never! It's such a blessing that I don't have to worry about anything with her.
Life is hard but I wouldn't have things any other way! Because at the same time life is good and so complete!

insecurity is a weakness of mine!

Ignorance is bliss!!

There is no doubt in my mind that I'm right where i'm supposed to be.

I've been bored lately. Of course i welcome it. Because as soon as school starts I'll be wishing that I was bored instead of being so busy. It should be a good semester. I'm keeping a good attitude. I just want to improve on last semester and I'm willing to do that. I'm excited for a new year.

Interesting twist: I'm back with Lyss!