It's just one of those times. But not. I don't know what I want to write about anymore. I work make money pay bills, do school work. It's a part of life but right now life seems so disconnected. That word, seems, is thrown around way to much.
Well I'm dropping a course, just so i can survive.
Life isn't bad. It's more like a rollercoaster, and i'm at the point where I'm so nervous and excited that i want to throw up. It's a bittersweet thing.
I've also realized that I've built up this wall around myself. I've created a hard exterior, a shell trying to keep people out. I'm not like that, not at all. I've always been very open with people because I want people to be open with me. I've been a hypocrite in so many ways. Geez.
Things need to change, things are going to change....
I'm finding out who God is again. My whole life is a story that testifies the truness of God. I've learned that he loves taking our mistakes, goofs, and imperfections to make something good happen. God isn't a fad. He's real. Concrete. Firm. And I have the audacity to think that I know so much.
I'm eating some big humble pie right now. Instead of feeling complete humiliation, I feel relief. I haven't been honest with myself, or with God. I think now, this moment would be a good time to start! This may be hard, but I'm ready to do whats right! "Sometimes the hard thing, and the right thing are the same."
Well this day isn't done, maybe I'll have more to babble on about.
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